Jessiyah Lighten

In the fall of 2007, I bought a navy wool coat from United Colors of Benetton, made in Italy. I settled for it because the winter season was approaching fast and I was running out of time. Its been five years now, and the buttons and satin pockets have been re-stitched several times. The satin lining in the body of it is ruined and unfortunately more expensive to repair than to replace.

I love the coat. Its my go-to coat. I feel the most comfortable wearing it with anything. Its ultra classic and conservative. I’d die if I couldn’t wear it with my black denim pants and brown wedge sneakers. I want it to stay with me. I’m not ready to replace it.

This inspired a series of questions to ponder: Is something that’s damaged on the inside still worth holding on to?

We all need fixing. Better yet, we all live in contexts that aren’t exactly how we’d like them to exist. We run around effortlessly in a state of denial; unwilling to confront our issues, our feelings of regret, anger, and guilt; resisting our need deal with the real human part of ourselves. There are times when we aren’t fully aware of our emotions or are even able to identify them. We fail to realize that it manifest in our actions. What are your actions saying about what you believe, think, and feel? And despite our actions, who’s willing to hang around us and be with us during our states of complete and utter unconsciousness? Who’s willing to be patient and witness our evolution? And why do we seek validation from those who choose to leave? 

At some point, I know that I’ll have to let go of my Italian made wool coat but I want to hang on to it a little longer. You never know, I might just buy it a new satin lining.